My Son became aggressive; the doctor was demanding to give him psychotropic drugs

Other people's children

Epigraph: My Son became aggressive; the doctor was demanding to give him psychotropic drugs.

I met Nikolay 20 years ago. It all happened too quickly, without building any plans for the future, with no claims against each other, we just clicked and started living together. Nikolay NEVER spoke badly of his ex-wife, which described him as a decent man. I knew there was daughter, and she wasn’t small. For several years I have been making her gifts, trying to understand how she lives, whether she was suffering because of dad’s another family. It seemed to me that she was very upset because of her parents’ divorce and she was mad at me and dad unconsciously, seeing how carefully he treated me. When Nikolay was arguing with a daughter, I always protected her, regardless of whether she was right or not.

Soon we registered our relationship. The girl – she was 24 years then – seemed happy for us. Soon she married a good young man. He worked as a programmer in a major company and had great prospects. They had a son. To tell the truth, we were very happy, we helped how we could, sending them all on vacation, staying with a kid. We bought clothes, toys and, in general, were the real grandparents, while the daughter’s mother made no effort. She could even see the child only once a month, explaining that she was very busy. But at the same time she didn’t work or study.

When the child was 6 years old, I realized that I was expecting a child!!! Heroically I’ve been keeping the silence for two months, because of the fear that the husband will require to get rid of this unexpected surprise. At that time I was 42 years old. But, at the right time and in the right place, sitting in a comfortable family Italian restaurant, I decided that the time has come and there is no more sense to hide, and confessed to my husband that soon he would become a father for the second time in his life. Nikolay just was flying in the clouds for all the next months, he didn't allow me to do ABSOLUTELY anything, catered to any my whims, and continually kissed the growing belly. He even refused to have intimate relationships, explaining that baby can have an injury. I agreed with anything, being glad that the person I loved was so happy.

... That morning, I felt a sharp piercing pain in my stomach and realized that it started. Still not waking up, I crawled to the bath and climbed into the shower. In the shower, I looked down and screamed wildly: there was a lot of blood on the tile floor. I jumped out of the shower and headed into the bedroom. What I saw almost drove me mad: a bloody trail lasted from the bed to the bathroom.

In the hospital I was immediately taken to the operating room. My husband was not allowed to go in: he was left to wait outside. When the cesarean procedure was finished, I heard, as through a fog, the doctors talking that they had failed to keep my female organs, they had to cut literally everything, because giving a birth to a first child in 42 years is quite difficult and a big risk. It is risk whether the child would be alive at all. But the boy was born alive and cried out quite loudly.

We were left in the hospital for a week, which usually does not happen in this country. When the husband came to take us home, I was waiting for the last results of examination of hearing, vision and other parameters of the baby – a standard procedure prior to discharge. The nurse has been absent for a long time, although I was told that the procedure takes no more than half an hour. When she entered the room and I held out my arms to take the child, but I saw another nurse behind her, in a whisper repeating the following: “The sick child, what a pity, the sick child”.

It was the end of my life and our family happiness. 4 years have passed. Husband, always gentle and caring, has become almost indifferent to me and the baby. I’ve never known what it means to divide the mortgage payment, bills for gas, electricity and other expenses for two. He stopped buying even food, saying that I needed to find a job. The child showed a development gap and was also hyperactive. Not a single nurse agreed to work with us and we’ve just registered the kid into a special place.

It took another 10 years. All this time I was patient: “What if suddenly everything changes and Nikolay will be my loving half once again”. Son studied in a special boarding school. Recently I began to notice that he comes for the weekend with shinning, as if unseeing eyes, speaks more quickly than usual, and laughs all the time. My only child got into marijuana. Twice we were visited by the police. In the end, he was caught selling this filthy thing. He was upset and swore not to do this more. I believed him, and my husband argued  - he was already ashamed of his son, and then he “washed his hands”, saying “God has given, if it is necessary – he will pick it up when he wants to.” The last few years husband’s daughter demanded us to sell the apartment and give her husband all the money to buy a new big house. Without hesitating, she said that their healthy son needs the money more than our son, who still wouldn’t be useful and could just sit on the dole. She didn’t accept her brother, and had forbidden his boy to see him and to talk with.

It got to the point that Nikolay’s daughter began to conjure. I regularly found pins, dolls and all kinds of strange things in my apartment, which I never brought to the house. In addition, she started calling the boarding school, where the son studied, and saying that he was dangerous, aggressive, that he could attack, etc. She demanded to close him down there for 7 days a week with no rights for the weekend and asked me to give him strong psychotropic drugs.

She said that we should not waste money and time, and people do not live long with this diagnosis and he would die soon, that’s why we needed to sell the apartment, get a room and lock him in the boarding school forever. Husband tried to break down on me, supporting his daughter, but I was able to give a hard argument in my defense. Because the apartment, in which we lived, was originally mine. But it was clear that pressure from their side on this issue will intensify, and that means there will be more scandals, and it can lead to loss of the property and something else bad. The lawyer advised me to gift deed to my son, as under the will half of the property automatically becomes the property of the spouse. I followed the wise advice immediately, and, being sure, that I should not have secrets from the husband, I showed him the new document. Nicely I tried to explain that I could not leave my child in ignorance in case if something happened to me. I love him in any condition, whether healthy or not. He can work at McDonald's and other similar areas of the service sector with his diagnosis, and he would have his own apartment instead of renting some rooms in the basement. After all, no disability benefits or even salaries will be enough to rent an apartment in a good safe area and still pay all the costs.

For the first time in my life my husband raised his hand against me. When I put ice to cheek in front of a mirror in the toilet, washing away the blood from my nose along with the leaking mascara, I heard my husband clearly said the words in which there was no pity or even a hint of the love, as I thought, was once. “DIVORCE” – he said and left the apartment. I never saw him again.

I came to Leila quite by accident, one woman at work went to see her on the issue of hyperactivity of her seven-year daughter, and her husband was in a bad business. And Leila really helped them. Finding out my situation, this wonderful woman explained that the daughter's husband set a program on the collapse of our family. Also, if I do not remove the evil that she has done to my boy something bad may soon happen – for example, he can get addicted to other drugs and die from overdose. That’s why she said that people with such a diagnosis do not live for a long time. Leila noted that we needed to hurry and clean up as soon as possible, because the program of disease and destruction was also set on my health, it has been operating for a few months, and soon I could lose the ability to work and simply fade away.

A couple weeks of productive work has just passed with this amazing woman, and I felt that life was not only black, but white too. Nikolay sent a huge number of bouquets of flowers with notes of forgiveness and a request to hear him out. I held on, but agreed to meet after the fifth bouquet. He knelt down and handed me a long red box, in which a Golden bracelet of a rare beauty laid. I haven’t been receiving such gifts from him for fifteen years. Husband begged me to forgive him and take back, said he realized his mistake, and that he has a son whom he really loves. He explained that her daughter was blackmailing him, that if he didn’t do the way she wanted, he would never see her or his grandson. Knowing his gentle nature, she stated that the apartment was more important to him and that he didn’t have a daughter no more. It had broken my husband, so he announced the divorce...

My husband and I are living together again, I feel great. Leila helped my son to get rid of addiction on marijuana completely, and even SIGNIFICANTLY reduced his hyperactivity and nervousness. The charges of selling marijuana were taken; the reference about her illness was recognized. Leila put a protection on our family, because, you know, today one can conjure, and tomorrow another will come to mind to do something else. I don’t have to run to Leila every time – because the protection is valid for many years. By the way, she closed the husband’s daughter for the communication with me and my son, so we have no intersection points, and, therefore, we don’t have anxiety because of talking to her. I’m so grateful to You, dear Leila. I have never met such a decent, honest and plain person like You in my life. And such a powerful and talented. Thank you!

To love means to see a person the way he or she is, the way the God saw

Epigraph: To love means to see a person the way he or she is, the way the God saw.

F. Dostoevsky

And the God created a human in the image and likeness of himself. And I fell in love with the God. To be more precise, in his personification in a human being. I imagined Him so majestic, wise and powerful, and I was flying from happiness when he proposed to me. I had never felt like a princess before that moment. He was courting me so beautifully even after the marriage that most of my friends envied us: in some cases it was white envy, and some people were telling different bad things about our couple. But most of all, I was upset because my parents, blinded by prejudices (so I thought then), tried to talk me out of it, saying that we have a huge difference between our cultures and traditions. My mother was very sad – being a religious person, she couldn’t understand how I could live with an Arabian Muslim man, who is, in addition to it, 15 years older than me! But I didn’t care about what people were talking and thinking, I was fully living His life, and 6 months later, I converted to Islam. One more year later, I gave a birth to our son. All that time, I felt his love and interest to me, like always. He kept spoiling me, buying presents – not very expensive, but the main is his attention, right? We had a daughter in a year. Then, I met his parents and a sister for the first time. They came to visit us. I didn’t understand what they were talking about, but I liked their friendly attitude to me and the kids. And I did my best, I cooked for them dishes which I learned by books for my husband.

Three weeks later, before leaving, the mother-in-law and the husband’s sister took me to another room and gave me ear-rings and a necklace. They were telling me something, and I thought they were grateful for the hospitality.

After they left, my husband changed drastically: suddenly he was cold to me, became irritable and stopped paying attention to kids. I thought he was tired from a lot of work. My husband talked about relatives more often and half a year later he said he had to go to Oman, as his mother was sick and he wanted to see her. I decided not to talk him out of it. He stayed in Oman for more than a month, I worried about him and the kids, as he left money for only two weeks. Fortunately, I had a credit card and I used it to pay for mortgage and products.

When he came back, I sighed with relief, and I was glad his mother was fine. On a fourth day, he said we needed to talk. It turned out he got married in Oman, and his new younger wife would join us soon, but it didn’t mean anything, and we would all live together.

Of course, I’ve heard about plural marriage in Muslim countries, but I could never imagine myself as the Oldest wife in a harem. I couldn’t think that living in Canada I would have to share my husband with someone else – moreover, under one roof! Following his strong request, I left university long ago and, of course, didn’t work. Who am I, what am I, where could I go with the small children?

I was in shock for a few minutes and then, imagining a comic situation when two women are laying the husband into My bed, I burst out laughing with tears and I couldn’t calm down for a long time. My husband’s short-term confusion changed into anger and he hit me in the face for the first time in my life.

The next day, as soon as he went to work, I gathered my things, took the kids and not knowing yet how to live further, I went to my mother’s house.

In the evening, my husband came to us and at first he was trying to explain something to my parents. Then he lost his temper, got mad and began threatening that he would take away the kids if I don’t come back. The police came in a week. They accused me of stealing his mother’s necklace. Being all stressed out, I took those ear-rings and the necklace his mother gave me, and threw them to their feet. I was arrested and the kids were taken away. The next morning, my friends and relatives bailed me out of jail before the court session, which was supposed to happen in a month. I was told I had no right to approach the house closer than for 500m and I couldn’t see my children, as they were given to the father. It turned out that just in a week his mother and sister came here and now they were testifying against me, saying I stole the jewelry which was allegedly kept in their son’s house.

I was in despair, my father was very nervous, and mother held on. I cried every day, searching for a solution. Father couldn’t take the stress and fainted right in the lawyer’s office. It was a blood-stroke. We didn’t know whether he would survive.

For the next three days, I practically lived in the hospital, where I met a woman who was visiting a patient in the next ward. To my surprise, she came to me first, said her name was Leila and she knew about the problem and wanted to help. At first, I didn’t know what to answer, but when she said the kids had to live with me, before they were taken far away, I asked for her help. Leila gave me pat on the back, then took out a small candle from her pocket and, handing it to me, asked me to light it and pray at night. Then she turned away and left after asking about my name and the birth date.

During the court session a miracle happened. The husband’s sister testified that the gold had actually belonged to me, as it was a present from them.

The charges were withdrawn. When we left the court room, his sister apologized. She said that a day before she saw a woman in her dream, who was saying they would be punished for betraying me. Her mother got a blood-stroke the other day, just like my father, and she was in a hospital in a very serious condition.

The next morning, the husband’s sister brought kids back and asked to forgive them all. Then again, on my request, she told me about her dream and a heroic woman, who looked like Leila.

My father almost fully recovered a year after this story. I had a divorce and found a good job. It’s too soon to talk about personal life so far – it’s not that easy to forget the past so quickly. But as soon as I’m ready to start a new relationship, I will definitely ask my savior Leila.

The reporter Kosnyak – by the words of Marquez

If she wants to cry, don't make her laugh, but always cry along with her. If she wants to run away, don't ask her to stay... just run away with her. If she doesn't want to hear anyone, be quiet with her.

I met Her at Starbucks at the intersection of Dufferin and Stilz in the midst of Indian summer. The day was quite good for setting the respondent up for an interview: to sit, to chat, to gossip. I understood that it would be very difficult to have an honest conversation with her, but, nevertheless, I decided to start a “probing action”. Judge yourself what has happened...

- Hello, Leila. I haven’t seen you so long. Me and my readers have a lot of questions, we want to ask you. So, are you ready for the “confession”?

- Yes, indeed we haven't seen each other for a long time. I don't really like to be the center of attention, and you – the journalists – are very dangerous people, and people take your job as a fourth power.

- Are you afraid of the power?

- According to the encyclopedia, power is the ability to impose your will, to manage or affect other people, even in spite of their resistance. I think and know that God created man in his image and like himself: so he has to live this life being free and pure, a life without any power and abuse.

- Then what about the political power? The government and politics? – I was surprised.

- Any government is chosen by the people, and it must serve others, not rule over them.

- Leila, many people come to you; there are those who want to return their husband or girlfriend among them. Or, conversely, want to “cut” an obsessive other half. It doesn't matter, if this partner interferes to build a new relationship or he overloads the family energetically and financially, or beats his wife, you always help to break up with such person – isn't that a violence?

– Do you think I'm a witch, who cooks a love potion in her hut and poison people with it? – laughed Leila. And I command the house to turn around to those who want to return a loved one and to turn back to those who want to end the relationship?

You could see in her eyes how she liked the humor about the position of the fantastic house, which depends on the client’s desire.

- Everything is a bit different, - Leila continued, – When the person asks me to charm, I always check a karmic relation, whether their ways are similar and their direction is alike. I also check their compatibility in numerology and astrology. If everything is ok, only then it comes to "boiling potion". Seriously, I prepare some things for the client and write on paper all the details about what should be done with them. Pay attention: I do not give anything that their half needs to eat or drink, and what you need to throw in the house. After all, it requires meeting with a partner, and, in most cases, my people don't have the opportunity to meet, because that person doesn't want to see them. And in a few days someone, for whom we’ve been working, feels the sweet pain because of “arrow of Cupid” and intense amorous desire.

- And what if the karma lines are not the same? – I asked.

- Then I explain to the person what consequences he might face if he goes against the will of Fate. After that I send the client with God.

We come into this world to give birth to children and raise them for procreation. Our karmic twins appear with us in this period or a little bit later or a little earlier; there are a lot of them. Maybe, we cross most of them at least once in your life. If we find them, or they find us, then such couples can give a birth to perfect children: talented, healthy, bringing good to mankind. If we missed our karmic twin and tied our lives with a stranger, there would be a high probability of having a moral monster or physically disabled person… Or just worthless creature. Such people negatively affect the global development of civilization.

- What if the family is created by destiny, but then, after a certain time, quarrels, scandals and tears will start? – I asked.

- As my favorite author Gabriel Garcia Marquez said “no one deserves your tears and those, who deserve, will not make you cry”. In fact, it means that one of the two or both disturbed the balance, taking a negative charge on them. They just need to be cleaned from the difficult family crisis in time, and they should understand each other, - explained Leila.

- How do you think, how long does Love live and if it grows old with us?

- People are so wrong thinking that they stop loving when they grow old. On the contrary, they grow old because they stop loving. I’ll tell you that true love comes with age: decent, mature and wise, - it seemed that Leila liked this philosophical statement.

- What will you advice, if after many years of a happy married life a husband or a wife suddenly feels alienated and alone, and starts looking for the same lonely, deprived of the affection people, and destroys their families? - I asked.

- I'll tell you what to do. If she/he wants to cry, don't make her/him laugh, but always cry with him. If one day he wants to run away, don't be afraid and don't ask him to stay... just run away with him. If he doesn't want to hear anyone, be quiet with him. Let him know that if one day he'll call and you don't respond, he/she needs to hurry to you. Let him find you, he must be sure that in this moment you really need him.

Finishing her conversation with the words of Marquez Leila “disappeared” with usual enthusiasm “to cook the love potion”.

I think this interview was interesting and instructive for many of our readers. I wish you all happiness and true love, and if something in your life goes wrong, please contact Leila!

Reporter L. Cosnac.